This past weekend I spent some time with some mom’s. On the whole they were exhausted and drained from the Thanksgiving holiday break. And as much as they wanted to go home and sleep, they had projects to help their kids with, carpools to soccer games and dance lessons and they had gifts to buy for teachers, family and work colleagues before the year end.
Add to that the ever-mounting pile of dirty laundry, dishes, housework, grocery shopping and cooking and there is zero time left on the clock. But taking time for yourself is vital if you are going to be any use to your family. This is something I had to learn as I aged.
I had a couple of aha moments as a mom. My first was during a screaming match with Jade in 2nd grade. I was trying to help her with math. Saul turned to me and said, you can have a great relationship with Jade or you can helicopter parent her homework. And so I stopped helping her and the war ended.
The second aha moment came around the time she was 5. She wanted me to make a different dinner cause she didn’t like what I’d cooked. Again, Saul intervened with his wisdom and told me there was no such thing as fussy eater. If she was hungry enough, she would eat. So, we left it out and every time she came to tell me she wanted a snack I would tell her it was on the kitchen counter. Now she eats everything, and cooking dinner is a joy.
The final aha moment was not so easy. I felt like an awful parent. Some of you might know Jade is super talented. Check her out on Instgram and give her a follow. We don’t live close to her high school. But she was in the 9th grade musical. Every day I would take and fetch her from rehearsals.
I was in such a pissy mood cause of rush hour LA traffic. I was fighting with her and Saul and he put his foot down. No more plays till she can drive. It sounds brutal but the funny thing is that now that she has a car, she totally gets why I detest sitting in traffic. When I asked her if she was doing the next play, she vetoed it and said it was just too much driving.
You see as people we can only function at our best when we have some down time. And sometimes a family dinner, time watching a funny movie, reading a book or getting an early night are much more important than piling another task on the to do list. So, don’t feel bad for having that aha moment and saying no. Boundaries are critical to be the best version of you xxx MM